Os degraus

Não desças os degraus do sonho

Para não despertares os monstros.

Não subas aos sótãos - onde os deuses,

por trás das suas máscaras,

ocultam o próprio enigma.

Não desças,

não subas,

fica.

O mistério está é na tua vida!

E é um sonho louco este nosso mundo...

- Mário Quintana -

While Bashir lies, Darfur dies

Sudanese President Omar-al-Bashir

After more than six years, the atrocities in Darfur continue.

New office policy

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get abalanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Puppy Bouquet

Thomas Jefferson, 207 years ago

- Thomas Jefferson -

by Charles William Peale, 1791

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."

Thomas Jefferson, 1802

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Traduzindo:

"Acredito que as instituições bancárias são mais perigosas para as nossas liberdades do que o levantamento de exércitos. Se o povo Americano alguma vez permitir que bancos privados controlem a emissão da sua moeda, primeiro pela inflação, e depois pela deflação, os bancos e as empresas que crescerão à roda dos bancos despojarão o povo de toda a propriedade até os seus filhos acordarem sem abrigo no continente que os seus pais conquistaram."

Thomas Jefferson, 1802

Evil Bankers